The Anti-Mommy

Sometimes when I see my friends and family post little declarations of love for their offspring I feel like I'm the Mommy version of the Grinch.  I see these "I'm so in love with my amazing kid and he/she is such a blessing and I am so grateful to be called to be in their life and I can't imagine what my life would be without them and gush-praise-fawn-swoon-etc..." And 99% of the time I feel nothing like that.  Is there something wrong with me? 

Yes, I love my kids. I sacrifice for them, I fight for them, but I swear they get on my nerves so much of the time. I am in a near constant state of "WTF?" regarding their lives, moods, attitudes and behaviors. 

My 16 year old is the most nonchalant individual I've ever met. She is fazed by nothing. I have been trying to tap into what motivates her for nearly 5 straight years and the only things I know she loves is Japanese anime, shows like Family Guy and Modern Family ( goofball, satirical ANYTHING) and art and writing. The twins are night and day. One bossy, opinionated a control freak that loves Lego video games and hates bugs; the other a sweet, overly sensitive animal lover with a learning disability I'm just getting a handle on. Then there is the 4 year old "diva". She is the oldest soul wrapped in a thick chunky pint sized package with a quick wit and comedic timing to die for... 

I know them, true. But as far as being gushy and dreamy over them? I can't. And a lot of times that makes me feel a little less than as a parent. I fuss a lot. I'm always tired. I feed them pizza at least once a week. I close my bedroom door. I don't like them sleeping in my bed. Sometimes I yell. I don't always kiss them goodnight. Ugh.

Perhaps I'm over thinking it. But I'm a Virgo, it's what I do.